Our big problems

In my opinion the two greatest threats to America are climate change and wealth inequity. They are pretty much the same problem. We know about climate change. An article in the Washington Post gave us some scary numbers about wealth inequality. The richest .00025% in the US have tripled their share of national wealth since Reagan was elected. Those 400 Americans now own more wealth than the 150 million adults of the least wealthy 60% whose share has fallen in the same period from 5.7% to 2.1%. I do not have a problem with wealth all by itself, but there is no such thing. I have a problem when the wealthy prevent children from getting the health care that they deserve, when they reduce education to gather more wealth to themselves, and when they simultaneously profit from industries that have caused global warming and fund climate change denying politicians. Please connect the dots: labor union suppression, voter suppression, denial of the truth about global warming, strangling education, expansion of the impoverished and marginally employed working class, stoking our fears of bogus national threats - immigrants, LGBTQ, terrorists, blacks, socialists, abortion clinics, whatever - all have a single purpose: accelerating and concealing the concentration of wealth.

Just another patch of darkness

On the way to my writing desk at 4:20 a.m. this morning, I paused by the window that overlooks my backyard.  Often as I look out of the window at that time of day, I imagine that I see things: dinosaurs skittering across the yard, a man in a long coat leaning against the shadowy side of a tree, or UFOs blinking at me.  The visions dance across the screen of my still somnolent mind overlaid upon the backyard.

This morning I saw something strange.  The day before, my son Kai had left a small plastic swimming pool in a crumpled heap in the middle of the yard.  Needing to paint the house, he had dragged it into the yard where I could see it before dawn on a cool September morning.  The pool I expected, but not the two black things next to it.  What were they?

I was certain from the moment I saw them.  Two young black bears rested in my back-yard.  They sat very still, close to the heap of pool, facing each other.  Ridiculous, I thought.  Still groggy from sleep, I rubbed my eyes and tried to imagine what else they could be, even as I knew they were bears.  They didn't move.  I wondered where they had come from.  I previewed the call I would make to the police station.  All the while I looked and looked.

Then came the moment of disillusionment.  My eyes cleared.  Kai had left the light on in the bathroom, creating shadows beside the pool.  My mind, not expecting shadows at night, had done the best it could and had seen two black bears huddled by the heap of pool.  But I preferred bears to shadows.  How much more dramatic, meaningful, and unexpected bears are than a bit of lawn the bathroom light can't shine on.  Here was a story, something to impress my friends, and mark the day for years to come.  But now that I had a more plausible explanation, I was a little sad.  I wished one of those shadows had licked the other, and, together, they had stood up and ambled across my yard in the moonlight under the cottonwoods.  But they didn't.  As shadows, they didn't even sit up any more.  Now they lay resolutely flat on the ground, nothing bear about them at all.  I thought about shutting off the light to free the shadows.  Maybe the light, the pool, and the ground had frozen to the spot those poor bears.  If I turned off the light, they would scamper off into the woods and go about their snuffling way.  But the light, the pool, the ground, and my mind had called those bears into my backyard, not trapped them there.

Still I left the light on.  It was the least I could do for them.  They continued to huddle together by a crumpled up pool in somebody's backyard and listen to the hiss of the cottonwood leaves moving in the wind overhead.  The frogs have quit singing for the season, but the reeds and cattails still rustled quietly under the silent moon.  I left the light on.  I would not interrupt a sweet moment like that.  I would rather have two black bear cubs resting quietly, affectionately, together in my backyard by the swamp under the stars than just another patch of darkness.

Squeaks is what you get

After the birth of my nephew Sterling, I sought a way to remind his older brother Tyler that, even though his parents would be very busy with his new, younger brother, he, Tyler, was still important.  So I wrote hi letters.  Here's one:

August 12, 1997

Dear Tyler,

    Has your dad ever told you about the smell of floor wax?  There are a lot of good smells in the world.  For example, have you smelled your crayons?  Red smells just like black to me, but they all smell different from anything else in the world.  Attics have a sad smell for me.  I think about all of the toys and puzzles no one wants to play with any more.  Your pillow has its own smell too.  Sniff it tonight after the lights are out and the house is quiet. You’ll see.
    The fall has smells that remind me, and probably your dad, of being a little boy. Leaves crackle when you walk through them, but they have a smell too.  Crumble one up in your hand and smell it.  Sometimes you can smell someone burning leaves or having a fire in the fireplace in the house.  There were more fires inside of houses and outside in yards and gardens when your dad and I were young. 
    Also in the fall, Grandma bought your dad and me new shoes.  New shoes smelled like stores, not like somebody's stinky feet.  There was only one kind of play shoe, which we called sneakers back then and that was Keds.  And there was only one kind of Keds, the kind that laced to the top of your ankle.  Every pair had a flat, round piece of rubber as a mark on the outside of my ankle, but I could get different colors: black, blue, white, and red.  Brand new shoes smelled like a store and the rubber sole squeaked when I rubbed my finger on it.  After about a month, my sneakers began to smell good, like baseball dirt, grass scuffing, and dogs.  Grandma also bought us clothes so that we could go back to school in new clothes instead of the old, comfortable ones with the holes in the knees.
    And always the first smell I smelled on the first day of school was floor wax.  The janitors had worked all summer to make the schools clean and ready for us.  The last thing they did, on the day before we came back to school, was wax the floors.  My shoes squeaked on the fresh wax.  Every time: new wax on the floor and new sneakers on your feet.  Squeaks is what you get.
    So whenever I smell floor wax, I remember long ago in the fall.  I bet your dad does too.  If he hasn’t told you so yet, ask him.  He knows.  He’ll tell you.

Uncle Chris

David Hargesheimer

I am starting to get email about my fiftieth year Mayo reunion.  How I came to actually have a fiftieth year anything is beyond me.  I don't feel sixty-six years old.

 

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The strangest piece of information I have received so far is the reported death of David Hargesheimer.  He was the biggest guy in my class at Bamber Valley and I was the smallest.  The high point of my career at BV was at a kickball game.  I was playing shortstop and David was a bat or is that at foot?  I was usually the last or second to last to be picked for any team.  I like to think that was a function of my size, not my athletic ability or personality, but who knows, so not much was expected of me when David kicked the ball.  I wouldn't have caught the ball had it not been directly at me.  My memory says that the balled followed a direct line from David's foot to my solar plexus, exhibiting no arc whatsoever.  Actually the ball caught me more than I caught it.  Again memory says that I was actually lifted off the ground by the velocity of the ball.  But catch it I did, retiring large David.

The only other memory I have of him was at my ten year reunion.  I recognized him right away even though he and I were then about the same size.  The only bit of the conversation that comes back to me was him looking at me with droopy eyes and saying, "oh, wow" in what seemed to be a heavily sedated slur.  I assumed that he was stoned, but I don't know.  He had another thirty-four years of life ahead of him.  I don't know what he did with his remaining time above ground.

I find it surreal that he is dead.  Forever.

100 Things About Me

1.I am a polio survivor.  Lucky dog.

2.I can't eat beets.  They make me gag.

3.I can't play the piano.  Tried for eleven years.  No luck.

4.I can't dance either.  Or sing, for that matter.

5.I have voted Republican once, 'cause the Sierra Club said it was okay.  Sorry.

6.I never thought I would be an enthusiastic church member, but I am.

7.I climbed a water tower when I was about eleven.  A rite of passage.

8.I lived on my bike when I was little.  Only safe place.

9.Irish wolfhounds were the pet in my childhood home.  They're big.

10.I love to eat red meat, but I don't.  Enough dies needlessly without my help.

11.Once purple and green were my favorite colors.  Now it's blue.

12.I grew up in a castle.  Really.

13.I dodged the alcoholism gene.  Lucky dog.

14.I started attending plays at the Guthrie in 1968.  Way important for me.

15.I have one biological child of my own and two adopted ones.  They raised me.

16.An arsonist hollowed out my home once.  What a jerk.  He's still in jail.

17.I remember Lincoln Logs and Tinkertoys.  And Erector Sets.

18.I owned an Adam computer once.  Remember Coleco?

19.I shook J.K. Galbraith's hand once.  My brush with greatness.

20.I smoked a cigarette once.  Made me barf.  It's hard to be cool barfing.

21.I kept a dime store turtle alive for seventeen years.  Named him Merl.

22.I prefer Halloween to Christmas.  It's not so commercial.

23.The Exorcist scared the living bejesus out of me.  Still does.

24.I've written two novels, but no one is interested.  They must be tedious.

25.I've stood at the center of Paris.  France, that is.

26.Best hippie credentials?  I saw the Dead at the Guthrie.

27.I buy weird, useless ceramic junk at the Goodwill.  Especially blue stuff.

28.I don't wear boxer shorts.  I micromanage.  What can I say?

29.I'm post-theistic.  Whatever that means.

30.I was called a destroyer of societies once.  Wow.  High expectations.

31.I frequently say stupid stuff.  Explains why I keep my mouth shut.

32.I wax mystical at the sight of yellow maple leaves on the ground.  Really.

33.I could live on pecan pie and vanilla ice cream.  But not for long.

34.I was fondled by a nurse once.  Only once, though, damn it.

35.Most impressive sight?  Coastal redwoods.  Other than Adele, of course.

36.I never get tired of Battlestar Galactica.  It's so real to me now.  Weird.

37.I want to see every Shakespeare play on stage.  I'm at about twenty-eight now.

38.I love the smell of freshly cut grass.  The kind cut with a lawn mower.

39.I have nice fountain pens, but I don't use them much.  Too much hassle.

40.My favorite dog is a miniature Aussie named MyLo.  He doesn't work though.

41.I read grammar books for fun.  I'm less tedious than I seem at first look.

42.My first camera was an Exacta.  It's was good camera.  For its time anyway.

43.I wear cotton clothes pretty much exclusively.  Doesn't itch.

44.I have never seen a ghost, but I have heard credible stories.  Not many though.

45.I have seen one thing in the night sky I can't account for.  Everything else, yes.

46.High school kids amuse me.  Their humor is so brash and outrageous.

47.I studied Heidegger in college, believe it or not.  Why?

48.I have had one adult relationship.  Lots of childish ones, but only one adult one.

49.I watch very little TV after the football season ends.  Why bother?

50.I have about ten extra pounds on me I can't get rid of.  I love to eat too much.

51.I am a writer.  Not published though.  Yet.

52.I am a peace activist.  No peace yet.  Not for the world anyway.

53.I'm Christian.  I'm not saved or born again though.  And what's this god thing?

54.I am a scholar.  No one learns from me.  Info goes only one way with me.

55.I exercise.  I eat right.  Still over weight though.

56.I'm on a buckthorn jihad.  Millions of them grow all around me anyway.

57.I take antidepression meds.  I'm blue most of the time anyway.

58.I'm almost done with the day-to-day work of fatherhood.  Can I nap yet?

59.I hate pairing and putting away laundered socks.  So I own lots of socks.

60.My sixtieth birthday is a rougher passage than I expected.  How did I get here?

61.Stones.  Beatles.  Beach Boys.  Mamas and the Papas.  Elvis.  Johnny Horton.

62.I have no plans to live in the state of Mississippi.  Ever.

63.I'm a space nerd.  Saturn Vs.  Mars rovers.  LMs.  That sort of thing.

64.I wouldn't do much differently if I had a chance to do things over.  That's cool.

65.I've been to Athens.  It was on the short list.

66.If I could live to two hundred years old, I'd be an architect next.  Or a counselor.

67.I love smoked oysters on crackers.  Kinda fattening though.  Good stuff is.

68.I like news that's about a month old.  Time filters out most mindless junk.

69.I have five brothers and no sisters.  I don't see them much though.

70.I love well engineered stuff.  Like my Nikon 850.

71.I watched the moon landing live.  What excites young people today?

72.I had a ride to Woodstock, but skipped it.  Silly me.

73.I collect book marks.  They're small and don't suck up space.

74.I'm artistic, but don't know how very well.  Yet.

75.I have tinnitus.  Whistles, rumbling, that sort of thing.  I know no silence.

76.I tip at 20%.  I'd rather tip than be tipped.

77.I've kept a daily journal since 1966.  That's the year my father died.

78.My favorite leisure activity.  Walking in the surf without shoes.

79.I look down when I walk.  I like to pick up pretty rocks.

80.Strip clubs appeal to me.  Haven't been to one in thirty years though.

81.I can do about thirty string figures.  Jacob's ladder.  That sort of thing.

82.I've got a million beads, but don't do anything with them.  Not any more.

83.I'm a dog person.  Cats seem full of themselves.

84.Shirt size: M.  Pants: 34-29.  Hat size: 7 1/8.  Shoes: 8 1/2 m.

85.I have little interest in the Civil War.  Little interest in Vietnam either.

86.Best known known relative: James Longstreet.  The Civil War general.

87.I like to poke around in junk stores.  Ceramic blue stuff.  Small stuff.

88.As a child, I always asked for lobster for my birthday dinner.  Peas and potatoes.

89.I insist on telling the truth.  Another reason I don't talk much.

90.One of my favorite places on the planet?  Presbyterian Clear Water Forest.

91.My most painful recent experience: a tooth extraction.  The dentist was a sadist.

92.I haven't played chess since I learned to play bridge.  Too uncivilized.

93.One of my oldest friends has spent most of his adult life in jail.  Really.

94.I'm not done at the Louvre yet.  Not by a long shot.

95.Favorite ice cream flavor?  Vanilla.  With maple syrup.  Too much maple syrup.

96.The book that has most influenced me?  The Structure of Scientific Revolutions.

97.I usually come out of left field in conversations.  Another reason I don't talk.

98.One thing I eat not many others like?  Kimchee.  Not many Americans anyway.

99.I'm retired.  Still working though, just not paid anymore.

100.One of my great heroes: Niels Bohr.  Who?

I have a soft spot for rocks.

 

I am amazed at how some information gets around. Here's an example: Adele told me once that one of her favorite stores is T Lee Customer Designer Jewelry. All by itself, that's a source of anxiety for me, but Adele is, by and large, a responsible consumer of custom designer jewelry if there is such a thing. A couple weeks later, I told her that I discovered a store that had quickly become one of my favorites: Hedberg Masonry and Stucco Supply. Now I have never masoned or stuccoed anything in my life; I just like rocks and rocks is what Hedberg has. Lots of rocks. It was a joke. Adele laughed, but I still like Hedberg Masonry and Stucco Supply. (By the way, the rocks Hedberg sells are frequently larger than the rocks T Lee sells.) That was it. I don't remember ever talking about Hedberg's with anybody again, except my neighbor Matt shortly after he moved in. He's nearly as big a nerd as I am so I thought he would like Hedberg's too and he does. 
Spin forward ten years at least, enough time for my chimney to fall apart. I have paid off my mortgage so I can no longer justify not repairing the chimney, which is going to cost me more than a really nice Nikon camera would. (Those are the dimensions with which I measure my life these days: how long it takes for my chimney to fall apart and how many nice Nikon cameras something is going to cost me. I know: I need to get out more.) Gary the brick guy texted me this morning at 6:43 am. That's fine; I respect a man who's already taking care of business at 6:43 am. I called him and we talked about repairing my chimney and replacing my front stoop, which is also falling apart. Yeah, I've been in this house for a while and I have some other things that are falling apart that I am not going to mention on Facebook because that would be widely regarded as TMI. Anyway, in the course of our conversation, he mentioned that his wife knew me and that he had heard that I liked Hedberg Masonry and Stucco Supply and that I ought to get over there to pick out some rock for my new stairs. I did a quick review of what I can remember of women I knew whose husbands I didn't know to verify that I shouldn't have a concern around hiring that husband to do expensive repairs on my house: nothing. Gary seemed friendly enough. But how would he know that I had a soft spot - I know a disorienting metaphor for a rock store - for Hedberg Masonry and Stucco Supply? I didn't ask him how he knew because I will still a little anxious about how he was managing the information that I knew his wife and he didn't know me. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I didn't want to accidently reopen a can of worms, not that a guy whose favorite store is Hedberg Masonry and Stucco Supply and isn't a mason is the kind of guy who would have many cans of worms in his history. 
Anyway, I am amazed at how some information gets around, but then I spend most of my time being amazed at stuff.