- Red M&Ms to blue M&Ms
- Nikon to Canon
- The Beatles to the Stones
- Dates to figs
- The Empire Strikes Back to A New Hope
- Reading the Cleveland phone book to reading about the British royal family
- Bailey's in hot chocolate to beer
- The truth to the lone assassin theory
- Composting beets to eating beets
- Islamic architecture to Christian architecture
- Vanilla to Chocolate
- Democrat to Republican
- Greece to Rome
- Potatoes to rice
- Brunettes to blonds
- Blue to green
- Philosophy to math
- Time to Newsweek
- Spiderman to Superman
- Protestant to Catholic
- Dostoyevsky to Tolstoy
- The east coast to the west coast
- Round to square
- Ford to GM
- Catfish to salmon
- Left to right
- PB&J to BLT
- Ceramic to glass
- Tea to coffee
- John Lennon to Paul McCartney
- Donovan to Dylan
- Cantaloupe to honey dew
- Red delicious to Jonathan
- Small to large
- British to French
- Classical to baroque
- Stone Henge to Coney Island
- Marilyn Monroe to Jayne Mansfield
- Star Trek to Star Wars
- Camus to Sartre
- Byerly's to Cub
- Gore to Clinton
- California to Florida
- Reagan to Nixon
- Steelers to Cowboys
- Fives to ones
- Naps to walks
- Epistemology to ethics
- Geometry to algebra
- Minnesota to Wisconsin
- Sixties to fifties
- Laurel and Hardy to the Three Stooges
- Kandinsky to Klimt
- Einstein to Heisenberg
- Adams to Jefferson
- Kindle to Nook
- St. Olaf to the U of M
- KNOW to WDGY
- Steve Allen to Johnny Carson
- Relativity to quantum mechanics
- Broccoli to cauliflower
- Cool to warm
- Cotton to silk
- John Dillinger to Al Capone
- RFK to JFK
- Country roads to freeways
- Rock and roll to country
- Marshall to Eisenhower
- Mao to Stalin
- Chou Enlai to Deng Zhou Ping
- Oak to elm
- Woodlands to prairie
- Pens to pencils
- French fries to mashed potatoes
- Spiro Agnew to Dan Quayle
- Sapphire to ruby
- King Kong to Godzilla
- Steven Spielberg to George Lukas
- Football to basketball
- Imbalance to balance
- Married life to single life
- Border collies to boxers
- Shakespeare to Miller
- Crest to Colgate
- Schick to Gillette
- Gandalf to Dumbledore
- Scarecrow to Tin Man
- Deciduous to evergreen
- Ankylosaurus to brontosaurus
- Jesus to Paul
- Moon as green cheese to intelligent design
- Sophocles to Euripides
- Harry Potter V to Harry Potter VI
- Butterflies to dragonflies
- Lobster to crab
- Hot tub to swimming pool
- Surf to tidal pools
- Patton to MacArthur
- Moe to Larry
- Macbeth to Lear
- Aspirin to Tylenol
- Ojibway to Dakota
- Heights to caves
- Socrates to Plato
- Odyssey to Iliad
- 1984 to 1972
- Writing to photography
- Star gazing to stamp collecting
- Ants to spiders
- Plays to movies
- Lincoln to Washington
- Peas to carrots
- Adam to Hoss
- Lad to Lassie
- Chinese to Thai
- COBOL to Linux
- Civilization III to Civilization IV
- Pride and Prejudice to Northanger Abbey
- Rommel to Hitler
- Apples to bananas
- Gore to Bush
- Cary Grant to Rock Hudson
- The Addams Family to The Munsters
- Merlot to Pinot Grigio
- Dodecahedrons to spheres
- Minneapolis to St. Paul
- Christmas trees to fireworks
- Augustine to Aquinas
- John to Matthew
- Hermione to Ron
- Fish to beef
- Fuddrucker's to MacDonald's
- Cloth to leather
- Hanging to drowning
- Birds to fish
- Drums to brass
- African to South American
- Mayan to Incan
- Black pants to khaki pants
- Long hair to short hair
- Revolutionary history to Civil War history
- The Red Sox to the Yankees
- Voluptuousness to leanness
- Taffy to Ella
- Nonfiction to fiction
- Drama to comedy
- Asparagus to artichoke
- Shelob to Aragog
- Wood to plastic
- Marble to granite
- Heidegger to Husserl
- Economics to sociology
- The Two Towers to The Return of the King
- The Union to the Confederacy
- Humor to jokes
- Superman to Batman
- X-Men to the Fantastic Four
- Stan Lee to R. Crumb
- Mad to Cracked
- LSD to psilocybin
- Obama to Hillary
- Catchup to mustard
- Scrabble to Monopoly
- Darth Vadar to Dick Cheney
- Shiraz to Riesling
- Israel to Palestine
- Gollum to Grindel
- Bridge to poker
- Hair to Jesus Christ Superstar
- Godzilla to Barney
- Old SNL to recent SNL
- Jon Stewart to Stephen Colbert
- Purple to orange
- Ireland to England
- KKK to Nazis
- Silly Putty to Play Doh
- Playboy to Penthouse
- WTC to the Empire State Building
- West to east
- Enlightenment to the Renaissance
- Painting to sculpture
- Arabian to quarter
- Titanium to platinum
- Comic books to graphic novels
- Ceramic to bamboo
- Loren Eiseley to Thomas Lewis
- Terrariums to aquariums
- Dictionaries to encyclopedia
- The suit spades to hearts
- The game Hearts to Spades
- Sermons to lectures
- Essays to stories
- Christianity to Islam
- Rum to gin
- T. H. White to Mallory
- No tattoos to tattoos
- Precision to ambiguity
- Discovery Channel to the History Channel
- Prochoice to pro-life
- Frogs to the Boche
- Paul Bunyan to Pecos Bill
- Spirit at Bear Lodge to Snapshot
- Cancer to emphysema
- Emotions to thoughts
- Pictures to words
- Schools to hospitals
- Pennsylvania Avenue to Boardwalk
- The Incredibles to Toy Story
- Dogs to cats
- Hagrid to Snape
- Blueberries to cherries
- Target to Walmart
- Battlestar Galactica to Star Trek
- Folding towels to sorting socks
- Flash Dance to Dirty Dancing
- Lincoln Memorial to Jefferson Memorial
- Madison to Marshall
- Butter to margarine
- Digital to emulsion
- Costco to Sam's Club
- Love to death
- Buddism to Hinduism
- MIA to the Walker
- India to China
- Vegetables to meat
- Art Deco to Cubism
- Chicken to turkey
- Chocolate to Neapolitan
- Fall to spring
- Bridge to chess
- Truth to fear
- Photography to drawing
- Pepperoni to sausage
- Italian to Mexican
- Target to Kmart
- Brass to copper
- Mozart to Beethoven
- Korean War memorial to the Vietnam War memorial
- Allan Funt to Durward Kirby
- Cyclops to Wolverine
- Root beer to Pepsi
- Sleeping Beauty to The Little Mermaid
- Lambchop to Beany and Cecil
- Danny Kaye to Liberace
- John Henry to Pecos Bill
- Blueberries to cranberries
- Pecan pie to apple pie
- Naked to clothed
- Scrabble to Clue
- Cool colors to warm colors
- Making mistakes to doing nothing
- Achilles to Hercules
- Warren to Scalia
- FBI to CIA
- Ho Chi Minh to Nasser
- Rocky and Bullwinkle to Woody Woodpecker
- Blindness to deafness
- Gold to silver
- Steve Martin to Chevy Chase
- Tolkien to C. S. Lewis
- Blue to purple
- Flair to Bic
- Suburbs to urbs
- Einstein to Edison
- Fried cheese curds to funnel cake
- Ferris wheels to roller coasters
- Books to movies
- Lakes to rivers
- Mothers to fathers
- Catfish to mahi mahi
- A sharp stick in the eye to flying on commercial jet liners
- Broken bone to tooth extraction
- Lone Spur Grill to Applebees
- Colorado to Wyoming
- Chichen Itza to Tulum
- Canada to Mexico
- Horses to pigs
- Eagles to osprey
- Lasagna to ravioli
- NASA to CIA
- Thursday to Friday
- Battlestar Galactica to anything else on TV
- M&Ms to Junior Mints
- Running outside to the tread mill
- COBOL to Fortran
- St. Olaf to St. Thomas
- Listening to speaking
- Hume to Locke
- Miller to Ionesco
- Monk to Colombo
- Incandescent to florescent
- Hand written letters to email
- American history to European history
- Frankenstein to Jane Eyre
- Klee to Mondrian
- Red to white
- American Graffiti to Breaking Away
- Bogdanovich to dePalma
- Athena to Aphrodite
- Firm pillows to soft pillows
- Monarchs to moths
- Hot dogs to hamburgers
- Comedy to horror
- History to biography
- Boris Badenov to Snidely Whiplash
- Dave Moore to Don Shelby
- The Sixties to the Seventies
- Marigolds to nasturtiums
- Solitude to parties
- Consumerism to Islam
- The Time Machine to The War of the Worlds
- FDR to any president
- Harry Potter III to Harry Potter IV
- Galileo to Gutenberg
- Beanie weenie to SpaghettiOs
- Absurd humor to puns
- Chewbacca to Tonto
- Pudgy to skinny
- Blue to humpback
- Spock to Data
- Mars to Venus
- Whole wheat to white
- Potatoes to pasta
- Music to rap
- Halloween to Easter
- Virginia Avenue to St. James Place
- Vocabulary to grammar
- Silly Putty to Hula Hoops
- May Day to Labor Day
- Trotsky to Stalin
- Rosalind Franklin to Francis Crick
- Hawthorne to Poe
- Zero to pi
- People to profits
- Sgt. Peppers to the White Album
- Jabba the Hutt to the Wicked Witch of the West
- Skill to talent
- Made in the USA to Made in China
- Orchids to roses
- Sail to steam
- Gaudi to Wright
- Chopin to Liszt
- Greek to Latin
- Gordon Lightfoot to Bob Dylan
- Rita to Sexy Sadie
- Sonatas to cantatas
- Missions to visions
- Corinthian to Doric
- Pop to soda
- Nonviolent to violent
- Richard Speck to Jeffrey Dahmer
- The personal essay to memoir
- Plaid to floral
- Maple nut to caramel
- Lime stone to obsidian
- Steve Martin to Bob Hope
- Meadows to strip malls
- Jayne Meadows to Dorothy Kilgallen
- What's My Line to Candid Camera
- Bourne to Bond
- Beach Boys to the Mamas and the Papas
- Analog to digital
- Toads to frogs
- Tesla to Edison
- Oranges to tangerines
- Angel food to devil's food
- Leonardo to Goethe
- Soft to Hard
- Purgatory to Jidana
- Green grapes to red grapes
- Dodecahedrons to icosahedrons
- One on one to groups
- Visuals to emotionals
- Canoes to kayaks
- Thursdays to Tuesdays
- NASCAR to WWF
- Picard to Kirk
- Sunni to Shiite
- Hollywood to Bollywood
- Grilled to fried
- Federalist to Democrat
- Frankenstein to Wolfman
- H. G. Wells to Edgar Rice Burroughs
- Semicolons to colons
- Foster's to Guinness Stout
- Cretaceous to Jurassic
- Anglo-saxon to Romantic
- Too little to too much
- Lupin to Sirius
- Stilettos to shot guns
- Pierce Brosnan to Roger Moore
- Green Lantern to Flash
- Reuben to grilled cheese
- New Year's to Christmas
- Eclairs to cupcakes
- Intermission to halftime
- Winning to losing
- Marvin the Martian to Wiley Coyote
- Titanic to Bismarck
- Machu Pichu to Angkor Wat
- Yogurt to cottage cheese
- Trees to rivers
- Root beer to Sprite
- Richard Dreyfuss to Jack Nicholson
- Celtics to Lakers
- Sacajawea to Pocahontas
- Contrast to mush
- Tofu to rice
- Saturn to Uranus
- Brass to steel
- Don Knotts to Ed MacMahon
- Spock to Bones
- Tapioca to rømmegrøt
- Spartacus to Robespierre
- Jack Sparrow to the Mad Hatter
- Active voice to passive voice
- The Rifleman to Gunsmoke
- Maleficent to Cruella deVille
- Spiderman to the Hulk
- Dead Nazis to dead klansmen
- Balaam's ass to the serpent
- Caillebotte to Manet
- The new Baltar to the old Baltar
- Dr. Seuss to Maurice Sendak
- The Rockford Files to Perry Mason
- The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes to Plan Nine From Outer Space
- Shaggy dogs to short hair dogs
- To Sir with Love to Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
- Laugh In to Hee Haw
- The Smothers Brothers to The Limelighters
- Pecan Mudslides to M&M Blizzards
- Pahoo to Hop Sing
- Costco to Walmart
- The Weimar Republic to The Third Reich
- Cucumbers to zucchinis
- Lascaux Cave art to modern graffiti
- Mammals to marsupials
- Marshmallows to licorice
- Corns to hemorrhoids
- Curves to angles
- Passing plays to running plays
- Barney Fife to Barney Rubble
- The Atlantic to Harper's
- Stories of King Arthur to stories of Robin Hood
- Grasshoppers to spiders
- Kung Fu to The Lone Ranger
- Lasagna to quiche
- Working dogs to hunting dogs
- Learning to teaching
- Kimchee to salsa
- Cloth diapers to plastic diapers
- Briefs to boxers
- Massage to exercise
- Kentucky blue to crab
- Eating out to eating in
- River valleys to mountains
- Thunder storms to blizzards
- McGonagall to Hagrid
- Hal to Henry V
- Pong to Asteroids
- Nachos to enchiladas
- Kimchee to sauer kraut
- Coke to Pepsi
- Pepperoni to sausage
- Beirut to Medellín
- The Declaration of Independence to the US Constitution
- Fantasia to Snow White
- Bumpy rides with scenery to smooth rides without
- Shooting at f22 to shooting at f2.8
- Asymmetry to symmetry
- Old rocks to old wood
- Moby Dick to Willy
- Marvin Gardens to Connecticut Place
- Merlot to cabernet
- Charles Colson to Carl Rove
- Oil to water color
- Orange roughy to cod
- Simon and Garfunkel to the Doobie Brothers
- Grief to anxiety
- Plum to forest green
- Acoustic to electric
- Clarence Darrow to William Jennings Bryan
- Fangorn to Old Man Willow
- Gibbons to orangutangs
- Pizza rolls to egg rolls
- The New England Patriots to the Oakland Raiders
- Beef to pork
- Cooking outside to cooking inside
- Solar power to nuclear power
- Geos to Yugos
- Cajun to Italian
- The H-Man to the Blob
- Asimov to Bradbury
- Not going to Somalia to not going to Egypt
- Women to men
- Flying kites to water skiing
- Tommy Kramer to Fran Tarkenton
- Burger King to MacDonald's
- Reality to fantasy
- Giants to Eagles
- Imagination to knowledge
- Big cities to small towns
- A sharp stick in the eye to debt
- A walk in the surf to a walk in the woods
- Bailey's in hot chocolate to beer
- Crossword puzzles to sodoku
- Festering sores on my anus to the Dallas Cowboys
- Mark Twain to Joseph Conrad
- Mashed potatoes to couscous
- Turkey gravy to chicken gravy
- Klee to Picasso
- Walnut to oak
- Home Depot to Menards
- Dayton's to Macy's
- Crystal to ceramic
- Maple syrup to molasses
- Clam chowder to tomato soup
- 7up to Sierra Mist
- Screws to nails
- Mary Jane to Lois Lane
- The Animals to The New Christy Minstrels
- Dean Martin to Jerry Lewis
- Being burned to death to being buried alive
- Copper to brass
- Lasagna to meat loaf
- Happiness to bliss
- Walking to dancing
- Cranes to flamingoes
- Dr. Seuss to L. Frank Baum
- Persimmon to pomegranate
- Sweet to sour
- Carl Sagan to Michael Crichton
- Simon to Garfunkel
- Johnny Unitas to Jeff George
- Blue to red
- Fresh peaches to fresh strawberries
- October to February
- Davy Crockett to Daniel Boone
- Alessandra Torresani to just about anything
- Discovering I am wrong to not discovering I am wrong
- NASA to NSA
- Silver to steel
- Miniature Australian shepherds to Border collies
- Cheez-Its to Cheese Nibs
- Getting whacked on the side of my head with a 2x4 to being interrupted
- Work stress to marital stress
- Mucha to Lautrec
- Milk chocolate to dark chocolate
- Sneezing to coughing
- Lobster to crab
- Being stuck in traffic to insomnia
- The Andrew Garfield Spiderman to the Tobey Maguire Spiderman
- Dune the book to Dune the movie
- Fuchsia to jonquil
- Tchaikovsky to Stravinsky
- Pecan pie to pumpkin pie
- Pippin to Merry
- Stubbing my toe to hitting a finger with a hammer
- Macbeth to Hamlet
- Galaga to asteroids
- Hume to Locke
- Pinot Noir to cabernet
- Drama to musicals
- The library to the zoo
- Creativity to discipline
- Paris to Vienna
- Cooperation to competition
- Driving across country to flying across country
- Xanax during flights to holy living terror during flights
- Nausea to headaches
- Silent resignation to hurting people I love
- Wind up watches to watches with batteries
- Fountain pens to ballpoint pens
- Biting the head off a live toad to reading one more editorial describing a candidate or policy as "flawed"
- Being called an asshole to being told that we need to agree to disagree
- Dijon mustard to honey mustard
- Monty Python to Benny Hill
- Finding a leech attached to me to having a spider crawl on me
- Being at home during a blizzard to a picnic in a park on a sunny day
- Any movie with Colin Firth in it to any movie with Jim Carrey in it
- Watching the Vikings lose another regular season game to watching the Vikings lose in the playoffs yet again
- Guacamole to salsa
- Curly to Shemp
- Rey to Princess Leia
- Tintin to Johnny Quest
- Woody Woodpecker to Yogi Bear
- The number 17 to the number 2
- Douglas Hofstadter to Richard Dawkins
- Oz books to The Hardy Boys books
- Queequeg to Tonto
- Being sixty-four to being seventeen
- V hand gesture palm facing out to V hand gesture palm facing in
- Princess Diana to whole lot of the rest of the Royal Family
- The first amendment to the second amendment
- Cherries to peaches
- Apollo project to Gemini project
- He who hesitates is lost to look before you leap
- Western Digital external drives to Seagate external drives
- Fiction written in the past tense to fiction written in the present tense
- Kindness to mercy
- Ceramic arts to fabric arts
- Honey crisps to Granny Smiths
- The Blob to the H-man
- Mulching leaves with a lawn mower to raking them up
- The Incredible String Band to The Grateful Dead
- Reading fifty-year-old copies of Horse Disease Quarterly to reading Ayn Rand
- Faramir to Boromir
- The early Elvis Presley to the late Elvis Presley
- Super 8 to E. T.
Not that it matters.